The White Girl Likes Rice

Life is back...

2010-09-01T12:48:00.000-07:00

I began my return from China as an undergraduate (again). But this time, I went for something I can hopefully use in the US / Canada... Art. Yes, a BFA was something I was really against, since I felt that I shouldn't need a silly piece of paper to prove that I knew what the fuck I was doing, or some idiot to grade me based on what he/she liked and not based on the craftsmanship (high school anyone?).

But I did swallow (most) of my pride and joined most of the people I have despised since highschool. The ones that 'think' they are artists. The stereotypical scatterbrains, goths who 'suffer' so they must be artists, the anime centred fresh from high school I can draw Naruto ones*...and of course, the endless parade of snotty stuck up little fucks who are the norm here. In one hand, it makes me feel like I am actually committing something against myself, joining the people I said I would rise above. On the other, it gives me a chance to prove myself. Maybe not so much to everyone else, but to me. To prove that Yes, I can do this, so fuck the rest of you.

My relationship is going wonderfully. He started work, I started work and school. He makes much more than me, but thats ok. He completes me. When I am with him, I am happy and care free. When we are apart, we are depressed, sad, and lonely. He is perfect.

Anyway, class now.

* Let me clarify. I draw manga-based art. Its where I pulled some of my inspiration from. But drawing anime characters and not trying to better yourself or form your own style, I have an issue with.

I have been...

2010-07-25T15:25:00.001-07:00

Yeah.

2nd 80. My pally is 73. Heh.

Back

2010-07-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

Returned from China. Was a fucking nightmare. This site, along with many others, are inaccessible, which is why I am here now. Spent almost 3 straight weeks with my boyfriend. Now we are in our respectful countries.

Tired now though. More later.

Of Corruption and Knee Jerk Racism

2009-06-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

Of Corruption...

Madoff got 150 yrs in jail for his ponzi scheme that took billions... not millions, but BILLIONS.. with a B... from other people. Not just famous, but normal, every day people.

150 years is the max, and quite honestly, I am happy they gave it to him. No fucking plea dealing for 12-25... no, he got the max. He will die in jail, rotting away and hated. Going down in history not as a Wall Street wiz, but as a lying, cheating scum bag.

His wife was in on it as well. There is no way she couldn't have been... and she shouldn't see a dime from anything. All of their possessions should be auctioned off, their bank accounts whipped, and Madoff's life insurance should be taken. Fuck them.

The corruption thing is getting out of hand. Honestly. Government, brokers... are the few of us the only ones who are not getting money? Pay off my loans, damn it. You want to bail out companies? Fine. Bail out me too. I need the money... these assholes make money by sneezing. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH... not fodder for a once in a while ranting.

Of Knee Jerk Racism...

I love how everyone who is against policies are against them because Obama is black. This is very very wrong. We are against the policies because they are MORONIC. Thats it. If it was a white man in office, we would hopefully all be going "Are you fucking stupid?" like we are now. It's not because he's black. And for you who are honking about this (re: Janeane Garofalo), shut up. Just do us a favor and don't talk. You honestly have no idea what is going on. You are like everyone else who believes that Obama is the next coming of God. Honestly, how can people believe that?

He and Pelosi are fucking us over right in front of our eyes... and most of us are doing nothing. And before anyone starts in on Pelosi and how I am a sexist, Im a girl, so fuck you. And, btw, I am only going to say this once, hopefully:

Our government voted on a 1300 pg bill without reading it. Thats it. I can't set that up any better than that.

I just can't set that up. My brain can't get around it.

Fuck this.

I'm getting old, and I am getting Bitter

2009-06-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

Blah.

Wonderful way to start a post, right? 134 AM EST, under medicated, unemployed, and still trying to fight the system. I like to think I am a woman of my principals, including the whole not going back on what I believe in thing, so I won't. Sometimes, I worry I am wrong. What could I be missing? I am hearing the same information that everyone else is, why are they seeing how any of this can be good, and I can't. Am I just getting older and even more bitter than my life has made me already? I don't want to believe that, but it seems more likely.

Family issues are especially bitter topics, as my family and I have never really gotten along well. There is a wonderful quote that goes with it, and that is "I could live 1000 years... I would never be more than an after thought." I have never been especially important to them, unless it was to make sure I was around to be an emotional and verbal punching bag. Then I had the surgery and thought they could actually care. I mean, they wanted me alive, right? Its been 8 years, and it seems the whole thing is just more to hang over my head. Mom thinks I love owing her money and taking it. I don't. I don't want them in my life... I have to have them there... thats what pisses me off. I just haven't been able to establish much of a life to be able to kick them out of it. Emotional toll of preparing one's self for death has that effect on you... it doesn't take a couple hours or a couple days to recoup and reset and go on living... in my case, I have never really come out of it... but then again, I never had the chance or the time to. Until recently, I have been trapped inside the mindset of a person who was supposed to not have lived past 16. I hit a psychological speed bump. I just stopped.

Japan came along and I learned that almost everyone around me is my enemy. I took a couple deep blows, but in the end, I was able to, on my own, pick myself up, redirect, and push forward. It is this that I have to thank for my bilingualism. I learned that yes, I can keep my depression in check, given the outside factors are dealt with accordingly (for a while I slept with a knife next to my door). I learned that not only can I adapt to a surrounding, but thrive in it.

I came home, and it was more of the same. I graduated, but the stupidity and incompetence of the people around me wore on me, and I began to look older than I am. I became tired all the time and my sarcasm cut a little deeper. I became a violent driver when provoked. I once flipped a guy off so hard I strained the tendon in my hand and couldn't move it for 2 days. Every day I drove added 10 years onto my life... I am actually owing time.

Then WoW came along, and I had an escape while I found a way out. While I was (and still am, mind you) on there, I met amazing people... including my ex boyfriend and now my current one. Current boyfriend was introduced to me by a then mutual friend, because my ex wasn't really interested in being in an actual relationship. From December to March, he pursued me, almost daily, asking me to leave my ex for him. I was blind... I wanted to make my relationship work... but sadly, I had to finally realize that because of what types of relationships he was used to, it wasn't going to work. Not with my need to be abroad. So I went to Canada and went for an interview for AEON Corp (A teaching thing in Japan), met a WoW friend (Jetti, my samurai), and on my last day took a side trip to Cambridge to meet my friend. We visited, played video games, cuddled, snuggled, and made out on the floor in his room, in his driveway, and in the stairwell.

Before you all start yelling 'whore' like my dad did, let me clarify a few things. First of all, by this time, my relationship with my ex was all but over. I needed his encouragement before my interview, and I got his friend with benefits on his screen name instead. And I had always liked my friend... ever since I met him. He is charming, loving, has an amazing sense of humor, and downright adores me. There really was no way for him to make me love him more (which is what he wanted to make happen, since I was still in my past relationship). We met... and we just clicked. I would say it was, at least on my end, love at first sight, but that would be lying. It was love at first chat. I just... apparently needed it reconfirmed to me. I still apologize for how long it took me to realize it. I was a moron.

That was when things just... started to look up for me. I didn't get the job with AEON, so fucking what. It took a bit of time, but I found a position in China. Contracts signed, I should be able to be there by July 15th at the earliest. Zhangjiajie is beautiful, and spending 10 months there will, most likely, be a good thing for me. Give me a chance to get experience, give me a chance to learn more about myself. I may even take up painting again. Matt and I became official May 4th... a month and a half after we met in person, and I haven't been happier. And he doesn't mind that I will be gone. I know he will be faithful to me, as I will to him.

We also started joking about marriage, which also touched off family issues. Matt absolutely despises the way my parents tend to treat me.... and he hates it even more than he can't be here to help protect me. He said one day that if and when we do get married, he doesn't want them to be there, especially my mother. Now, I can see where that could be a problem, but I am hoping they iron themselves out... if we still don't want my mum there, then it isn't exactly that big of a loss. Mom and I were talking about my relationship 2 days ago, and I could tell she wasn't listening. So I pointed my finger in her face and said, bluntly, "Look, he may be your future Son In Law". Aaaand that got her attention quick. Her face took on the 'deer in front of the headlights of a car' look. I had to bite my tongue from saying "And he already doesn't like you." Now, why were we discussing this? Because I had a job and after a week they let me go, simply because I asked for shorter hours because of my neck and back. And why does this relate to my relationship? Because I am supposed to go and spend a nice and long weekend with Matt at his home in Canada while his parents are camping (he was supposed to come here to go to a wedding, but cannot). This will, most likely, be the last time I will be able to see him before China... and 10 months with only Skype will be difficult. Mom immediately told dad she didn't want me to go. This is where my father surprised me. He basically told her to go fuck herself. It was amazing. So long story short, I am still going.

I actually also figured out that the little spasm I feel in my brain when I watch the news is not good. So now, I just... try not to pay attention. Its been months since Obama was elected, and he has had a press conference daily since. He has also had a bunch of town hall meetings. Wanna know what I say? GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK TO WASHINGTON AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. Jesus Christ! Waste more fuel to fly your wife to NYC for a fucking night. Go to these towns who are suffering because of the economy and tell them you are gonna help them, but then put your finger in your nose. Just prance about and get more feed for your giant ego. Go ahead. Then when shit tanks, I hope someone takes a pin to it and it takes you out along with it. And as far as your vice president? SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO.... HIDE UNDER A ROCK OR WHAT EVER ELSE YOU ASSHATS DO. Biden is one of the most amazing and predictable foot-in-mouth examples on the face of the planet. What was the one on the news today... about how they know that there will be massive waist of the bailout and stimulus money. DON'T FUCKING TELL US THAT! THERE GOES YOUR FUCKING CREDIBILITY! Like you really had a lot to begin with. Nancy Pelosi? GIVE US PROOF, OR RESIGN. ITS THAT EASY. Go ahead and claim that the FBI (the fucking FBI for Christ's sake) lied to you. Go ahead. But you better be prepared to back up your accusations. The FBI is pretty major. They are like... major. There is no other word for it. And then for her to say "Well, I don't want to talk about this anymore"... I was stunned. I was like *cleans ears* did I just hear what I thought I heard? Everyone, on both sides of the isle, were like ".... excuse me?" YOU'RE THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE. THE FUCKING HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES. YOU ARE THIRD IN LINE FOR THE PRESIDENCY IF SOMETHING HAPPENS.... AND YOU DO.... THIS? I think we have a problem. Resign, you stupid wench. I am sick of hearing you talk. Give me proof or fucking resign.

Oh, and to top it off, that senator that was sleeping around. Like that even surprises us anymore.

I guess thats it for this round. Thank you all for letting me clarify and then letting me take out my frustration on the system. If there is anything all this has had to teach me, its that I should flee the country.

So I've Been Busy

2009-04-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

So.... I've been busy.

Well, kind of.

I now have 22 characters on.... 9 realms. Highest: 80. Lowest : 1. Woo! Go me.

Kwanyi, my 80 Belf hunter joined a friend's guild, and is now getting runs. :heart:

Which means XP, some fun runs, and hey, maybe some new money. I could use the gold, but am a tad bit too lazy to do dailies, and spend time upping alts, tho I haven't gotten one past lvl 33... not counting the DK, which hasn't seen 67. Damn my laziness!

Been a lump on a log. Putting off applying to Burger King and McDonalds (Thank you, UB, for my useless BA in Linguistics!), and looking to work in China. Bad part is, I won't be able to go till August... which means I will be asking if you want fries with that till then x.x

God I love being a graduate.

(Please note sarcasm)

Governmental Rant

2009-03-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

If you haven't noticed by now, I like to rant.

Alot.

I figure it is more healthy than drinking, or just holding back and getting a tumor. But also not as radical as charging the state with a pitch fork and torch, though I have a pretty good idea as to why people kinda wanna do that right now.

I say we do.

I started my week with a 5 day stay in Toronto. As I was getting in my car, I commented to my mum that I was going to be out for my Birthday, and if anyone called, I had defected to Canada for the week. Pulling away from the driveway, I screamed out my window "POLITICAL ASYLUM FOR THE WIN!" She immediately came over, pointed her finger in my face, and told me "YOU BETTER NOT BE A SMART ASS AT CUSTOMS!".

She had a point. I have always had... problems... when it comes to customs and homeland security. I respect their job, not how they do it. Look, when you have 8 BOOKED international flights letting out, you don't have 1 guy checking customs tickets. You just don't do it. And I tend to be the person who gets a tad bit upset when traveling for more than an hour. Which kinda sucks, considering the flight from Detroit to Japan is about 13 hours. But I digress. I just don't suffer stupidity well. Being surrounded by it, it just wears on me. Which is why me, and the Obama administration, just... cannot coexist.

Lets start with the socialist movement, shall we? Obama has done nothing but attack the shit that makes America America. I mean, who has ever heard of Government taking control of companies, deciding who gets paid what, and firing people they dun like? Hmmmm Soviet Russia comes to mind XP And if I remember correctly, that shit collapsed.

I am not trying to condone what has gone on in the economic market as of late. I mean, come on people. This happened because assholes were buying 1 Million Dollar homes on a 205,000$ home income. I don't know who the fuck is more stupid... the people who got these loans and mortgages without being able to pay it, or the banks who fucking gave it to them, thinking they could make a quick buck. And, if you noticed in the news today, one of the people who bought a 2 million home and was foreclosed cause they couldn't pay fuck all of their loans, trashed the home. No. You fucked up. You deserve to lose your home. I am pissed that in this stimulus package, we are basically buying these houses for these people. No. You can only afford a trailer home, you live in a fucking trailer home. Foreclose on all of these mother fuckers. I cannot afford to pay off my student loans yet, but my taxes can go to paying for homes for these morons. COME ON PEOPLE!

Now, I know that somewhere, there are people who are looking at the same shit I am looking at and going "wtf? honestly, wtf?". But others are so tainted by the ideal that Obama is some sort of God. Jesus resurrected or some shit, and think he can do no wrong.

They will be sadly disappointed.

I forsee the economic collapse of America if this continues. There will be a new super power forming.

But we have the power to change its course.

That is all.

SPECIAL POST

2008-10-08T11:53:00.001-07:00

Oh my word. So many posts!

Well, I have been brewing on this, and today it came to a very interesting conclusion.

It is "Coming Out Week" at UB. Basically about gay, bi, trans-gender rights and freedoms. Today there was a drag show, as is usual for UB this time of year. The interesting part was not the show, since I didn't go (I couldn't care less about what happens at UB, since I hate this school), but the interesting part was the bible thumping preachers with the police around them on the spine. Located in between the Commons and Knox, in the courtyard between Baldy and O'Brian Halls, these 2 (a male and female holding signs about how the love of Jesus Christ turned gays straight), screaming their preaching, while other lashed out at their closed minds and stupidity, university police standing to the side just incase.

So why such strong feelings?

Let me clear the air first. I am a raised Roman Catholic, went to sunday school, confirmed, then decided "Fuck the church". It never held any of the answers and I found it boring. Nothing that was ever preached ever meant anything. I just did the song and dance cause my parents wanted me to. As of right now, I am an undecided, though I think every religion has it's good points.

Most of them are wrong.

I am not a gay hater, though most people seem to be. I figure, what ever makes everyone happy. The love of my life is bi. Just ads flavor. I do, though, think that they should be treated like human beings, and not like a disease, which is what most religions attitude toward the whole thing.

What I seriously have an issue with is the fact that people are allowed to protest at all, and even for something this stupid.

Lets face facts; most of the people on the face of this planet are stupid. Not only stupid, but completely moronic. No one has any idea of what they are talking about, but they think they do. They shouldn't have a right to protest, they should have the right to shut the fuck up. Go elsewhere. No one cares about your beliefs. No one cares what you think. You arn't that important. Seriously. No one cares to see you standing there, holding your sighs, waving your bible like you have some message that matters. You know what? It doesn't. You are simply fodder for people like me to stand there and laugh at.

And oh boy, did I laugh.

It's shit like this that makes us take a step back from humanity and wonder what the hell happened? Why can some people be caring, compassionate, AND religious, while there are people like these, who treat other human beings like dirt because they believe, from a book that was just there, that they are worthless.

And this is supposed to be a campus of higher learning.

Kinda like Michael Moore as a distinguished speaker. It just makes me shake my head.

P.S. Love me or hate me. I don't give a fuck. Agree or Disagree, Discuss. Just don't flame or tell me I am wrong.

Cause if you look deep down, there is something here that speaks truth to someone.

October

2008-10-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

You know, I prolly wouldn't hate it as much as I do if Buffalo was warmer. I mean, in all reality, Buffalo is a beautiful place, if you look over things here and there and don't actually live in the city, and if you look at it from across a body of water, but it is just too damn cold here most of the year. But hey, I think we might get a fall!

Thankfully classes and everything end by mid december, so I don't really have to drive drive to school anymore.... just work for a few weeks after I officially graduate... But you don't care about all that shit XP

But what have I really been up to? Nothing that would surprise anyone, really. Doing art, playing with my "Star Crossed Lover", and fighting the system.

But thats it for now. Been on the computer. Yes.

Ok ok

2008-09-17T05:34:00.000-07:00

I know I know. I haven't made a decent post in months. But I do have reasons and I plan on posting them tomorrow. Right now I am in Capen Library at SUNY UB, waiting for class, and wanted to make a quick post. I have a photo or 2 I want to include in a decent post, and clearly this isn't the time, since I am on a public computer and have nothing with me. I will learn.

Please bear with me.

X

Dude

2008-07-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys. I have been gone since March (it is July already, fucking hell). So what has Dee been up to?

More art up at http://dee-sama.deviantart.com/ . Been drawing, taking trips to a large church around here, and photographing stained glass windows in the area. I will be starting a series of prints on the website that will feature the windows from churches, and I will donate part of the proceeds to the upkeep of these. Joy, another project.

I did part of my internship over the summer. I did tutoring with this very nice and wonderful lady from Tokyo. It is nice to have more friends there when I go back.

That semester is over, thank god, and now I can kind of relax and chill over the summer, except for work, and drawing work, and Wow.

Yes, I got WoW., There goes all my time (._.)

More soon!

Of Easter, and Weather...

2008-03-28T05:58:00.000-07:00

Happy late Easter to everyone. As for me not posting for a while, I have been busy with school, dealing with this back ass-ward winter (it's almost fucking April and we got 7 inches last night).... And my computer was out of commission for a little bit. Woke up this past Friday to a popping sound coming from the computer. I pulled out the power cord to find out that it was /sparking/. Turned out it fried the inside power too, and that needed to be replaced. Luckily I had it back by the Tuesday night afternoon.

Haven't been going to GEO this week, had other things to get done, except for today where I am just too lazy to run over there. Next week I will be better at this. I met with my Russian Professor for tea instead. It is nice to do, because it is nice to have someone to talk to, and it is nice to know I have a place to go for a letter of recommendation when applying for AEON comes up. Don't get me wrong, though. I do plan on being productive this morning. I need to email the head of the Japanese Department here to ask for a tutoring position next semester. I want to help American students learn how to converse properly in Japanese. Colloquial expressions, different types of "ben", and other little nuances that could be useful. I believe that learning how to speak through dialogue checks isn't practical. It teaches you how to speak in that exact pattern, not in every day society. That may be why speaking in Japanese becomes such a tedious project for some people here. It doesn't flow like other expressions are supposed to. That is what I aim to correct. I also will email the head of the ESL department here to see if I can get an internship with them as well, helping foreign students with their English. I think these will be helpful with not only me getting my degree (which I need, apparently, before I even apply to AEON), and for the job at AEON itself. Ah, what a pain in the ass the future can be!

Been having a problem with identity lately. Not like someone stole my identity, but more like I have this feeling that I don't know who I am anymore. So many realities mixing, I worry that I am losing who I am and what I have accomplished so far as to deciding what my life will be like. I suppose everyone goes through something like this, but this is the first time for me. *sigh*

So, not much more news for now. Must wait till January to apply for AEON, which makes my Jan 10th leave date null and void. A few more months will maybe put a strain on me, but I will do my best.

頑張れ！

Of Japanese Weddings and Such...

2008-02-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

If there is anything I should learn from blogging, it should be these very few things: No one likes it when I bitch about stupid shit, and no one likes me when I do it at 1 in the fucking morning. So, I will try to keep away from that and wish everyone who stops by a nice time here.

This morning, I wanted to start sharing some of the stories I have from my one time in Japan before I go back for permanent. Hopefully. The first one I decided on is weddings.

No, I didn't get married, but I happened to be an uninvited guest that attended a few. I was always in the wrong place at the wrong time for these poor people. In one case, the one in Gion, the bride actually thought the whole thing funny. The groom, on the other hand, seemed sick and unhappy. I don't know if my presence there changed any of that but.... By the way, thats the bride in the picture above.

I crashed, lets say, 2 Shinto weddings, both in Kyoto. I also happened to be a "guest" at a Western style catholic wedding in Hirosaka, in Kanazawa, at the church infront of which there is a very large likeness of Jesus, which makes us say that Yes, Jesus is here, and he is in Hirosaka. Boy, were we weird. It actually all started after the broken leg, when I fell off the bus at Kourinbou 1, which happened to be right infront of said church. In my falling, I happened to hurt my leg a little more, screaming "Fucknuggets" as loud as a could. I then looked up and saw 2 Japanese women, their children in strollers infront of them, and Jesus behind them. I stood up, brushed my shoulders off, and gave the "Yo" with the little wave, before we departed and I broke into giggles. Only in Japan. I also happened to meet Jesus in the luggage claim area in JFK International in NYC, but that was creepy and another story for another time.

Weddings then. Never got to see a Shinto wedding at Ōyama Jinja, but I did happen to emotionally scar a little girl at the Shichi-Go-San Festival for asking to take her picture, and disturb a bunch of high ranking business officials making donations to the Shrine during the Hyakumangoku Festival. Boy, I make friends where ever I go!

It doesn't bother me that I was present for the special time in these people's lives. At the one in the main shrine in Gion, it is a very very famous tourist attraction, so it's natural whitey and everyone else would be there. The other one in Kyoto was at Heian Jingu, another famous spot, and every Japanese person and their brother was there, including a drunk dude (at it was 9 AM) who insisted on taking my picture for me. It is a nice picture, if it wasn't on so much of an angle. His wife promptly apologized. Only in Japan.

This one, though, I wasn't allowed near. The nice people at the shrine blocked the area off. Which was nice of them, but a pain in the butt for me to get pictures. XP

I guess thats all for now, since class will be starting. More stories later from the Far East told by a person in Buffalo, NY... no where near the far east.

Honestly!

2008-02-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

START RANT /

I never thought that asking for a slight extension for a paper cause I WAS IN A FUCKING MAJOR ACCIDENT was such a large production. I first ask the Professor (cause he kinda has control over whats going on) if I can make up the quiz I missed cause I was at home in little more than a comatose state. I get NO reply. I then email the TA who tells me I cannot, because the class is such a large class, they won't let anyone. BUT the professor will drop the lowest quiz grade, so I suppose thats where that goes. I then say that I cannot finish the paper that is due today (well, Friday now I am informed). That week that all the other students had to do it, I was not exactly well. I could not focus for more than a few hours. My head and body hurt. I was so emotionally traumatized I would stay up in the night doing accident recreation on my headboard and sleep during the day. I didn't have the time nor the mental energy to do jack shit.

I get an email back that says that it would be unfair to the other students if they let me have an extension.

Ok. Maybe... I am missing something. Let me get this right. It would be unfair to the other students to give me an extension because I was in a 9 car pile up on a bridge that took the life of my car and could have taken me along with it, and they wern't. Well, if we want to play that game, everyone in that class, including these fuckers, are welcome to get into that car accident. They are welcome to know how it feels to have cars spin yours, to hear the noises I heard, to feel the helplessness as you wait for the next car to hit you. The waiting to get out and being trapped in the thing that saved your life. THEY ARE WELCOME to suffer the PTSD and the constant fear and pain and emotional trauma that I get to deal with now. I FUCKING WILL LET THEM. YOU CAN HAVE THIS BULLSHIT, I DON'T WANT IT.

So yes, I was just lazy and didn't want to do the assignment because I wanted to go to a party with my friends. YES, I do this to make everyone's life difficult and I love demanding special treatment to throw it in people's faces.

Because there are so many more worse things than asking for a fucking 3 day extension. / END RANT

I Am Back. With Vengeance.

2008-02-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

Total misnomer this time. While I am back, I doubt I will be going anywhere fast. My body still aches, and moving anywhere or being up for 20 minutes at a time hurts like a motherfucker. I did get a new car, so I am back in school (I am getting geared up to not pay attention in my GEO 101 class right now), but not to the same degree. I have a feeling I will not be making an appearance at my 3rd class of the day because, honestly, I am not going to run the 10 minutes both ways. I cant. My body wouldn't let me walk the way to the bus this morning, so running is doomed as of right now. I will be back to that class Wednesday, not like missing a(nother) day in a bogus gen. ed. will kill me. He also puts everything up online, and I play games through it anyway. I think I will use that time to work on a paper I forgot about (In the mess of this whole thing), which is due Wednesday.

On the docket for today: making appointment with professor to discuss my internship and maybe trying to get the fuck out of dodge early. Maybe by fall? Thats if I can somehow due the shit I was going to do in the fall in the summer. That would make going back to Kanazawa so much quicker and make my time and pain here end a lot sooner. Hopefully things work? Also, I need to get caught up. I missed 2 tests last week: a quiz in music that my professor said I can make up, and a Quiz in my LIN200 class, which it turns out my professor won't email me about. This shit amuses me. No, I will not email a TA who has no control over weather or not I can make up a test based on the fact that I was in a car crash, my professor does. But, if he is too much of a prick to email me back, I say fuck it. (I emailed my TA last night. I am such a good grade whore @.@ )

It is absolutely scary shit to all of a sudden have your future staring you in the face, but I need to just do what I can. Getting out of here quick means getting back into a life I feel comfortable with and finally leaving my past behind me (where it belongs, God damnit!). Also, I can't stand the winters here anymore, and the less amount of time I have to spend driving and constantly looking over my shoulder for the next accident, the better. I don't even get angry as much anymore. Well, atleast not as much as before. I just don't get a chance. My body hurts, and in my brain there is just a constant play of the accident and knowing that if it was just me and the motherfucking guard rail, I would have my lumina back and not be in massive amounts of emotional trauma. It was the fault of the 2 morons behind me, especially the silver SUV, that all this occurred.

Unfortunately, the law doesn't cover emotional damage from being stuck in your car cause the person who first hit me was going too fucking fast.

In Pain

2008-02-10T06:21:00.000-08:00

Well, after that last post, quite a bit has happened. I think it was later that day that a guy ran me onto the shoulder of the 90 by the 33 because he wasn't paying jack amount of attention. That could have been bad, since going 70 usually hurts when you kiss a Jersey Barrier. But, I got by the little fucker, and promptly flipped him off and told him to go smoke another. Yes, he was acting like he was high and the fact that he moved over on me without looking or turning on a blinker just makes me feel he was stoned a little more. God, I hate driving with people who go to college.

Wednesday, though, I ended up in a major accident. That bridge ramp from UB to the 990 is dangerous at any time, but Wednesday it was covered in a layer of ice. This is what happened as far as I can remember:

The guy 3 cars infront of me didn't like the fact that the person behind him was following so close. He slammed on his breaks. The person behind him, who was following just a little too close slammed on theirs. The lady infront of me, who had a lot of distance between her and the person infront of her and me behind her, used her breaks, began to slide on the ice, and hit the guard rail. I touched my breaks, began to slide, and slid into the guard rail.

The people behind me were going way too fast. I was going around 20 when I hit the guard rail. Speed limit on the ramp is 30. They must have been going 40. A silver SUV slammed into my car, turning my car 90 degrees. This person was followed by a green van, who slammed into my car and spun me the other 90 degrees, so I was facing the opposite way I was originally going. After that, I don't remember much. I think a 3rd car hit me, but again, I can't remember. The fire department had to come and cut me out of my car, the car was that bent in. I was taken to the hospital. The police woman came and took a statement. She started by saying "You were in the 9 car accident, right?"

I was like um... no, I was in the 6 car. She sighed and said "Dear, that was a 9 car", to which I broke out in tears again. I escaped with bruises only (as far as we know right now), but my car is gone.

What a wonderful past 2 weeks. I went through a tree last week during the wind storm here. Just the top part with the branches, but it still scared me shitless. So did this. Hopefully everything will be ok.

The New York State Thruway

2008-02-04T05:25:00.000-08:00

Y'know, based on all the honking and bitching from motorists who really don't need to drive on the thruway, there are a lot of them out there who still do, and those people tend to be the most inept at driving. Some examples would be, but are not limited to; going 55 mph in the 3rd lane passing lane, going 55 mph in a 65 mph zone in the passing lane without passing anyone, not paying the fuck attention to what is going on then getting mad that others are pissed at them, the list goes on and on. Out of state drivers, stay the fuck out of the 3rd lane passing lane on the I-90 by the Walden Galleria Mall. You still don't understand that 55 = 65-70 in the 3rd lane passing lane. New York State drivers too. You people fucking LIVE with the Thruway and you still can't drive on it. Are you just moronic?

When I came back after living in Japan, one of the first roads I used to get back into driving was the 90. Actually, I think within a week of landing in Dulles I was driving up to Williamsville. And y'know what, being away for a year and not even touching the steering wheel of a car, I was owning people on the thruway (again). What bugs me about that is that I WAS GONE FOR A YEAR. I didn't even fucking live in the area, let alone commute on the damn thing for around 365 days! What the hell am I doing murdering these people?!

I asked my dad one day, "Dad, why are people on the Thruway either assholes or complete morons?"

His reply: Well, when the other people began to learn how to drive on the thruway they saw that there were a huge group of people who weren't. Those who did learn began to get very angry at those who couldn't but still did. Those people eventually turned into assholes. The stupid people remained stupid.

True.

Some days I wonder what happened to Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection, cause some of these people shouldn't have survived this long. And it makes the rest of us very very angry.

So, with all the moronic bitching and people complaining about driving on it, y'know what? Don't. Stop. Spare us who do and know why we do it. That includes most of the people who are stupid. Just stop. I, for once, would like to drive to school one day and not scream at someone, flip atleast one person off, yell about how fucking stupid and obnoxious people who go to UB are (because they really can't drive worth shit), how dumb some truckers are (hey, if the sign says "No Trucks, Busses, Trailers Left Lane", it says it for a reason), or yell about how men in huge pick-up-trucks, who can't drive them for shit, should stay on the fucking farm and find something else to make up for his lack of dick size.

Maybe I am being harsh, but I don't think so. I have been driving the Thruway for the past 3 years now, and seriously, if I can learn to drive it, everyone else can. It really really isn't that difficult. And guess what, if you don't like the tolls, don't drive the damn thing. Shut up. There are always back roads, and we know how amazingly clean those are in the middle of winter.

Happy New Year

2007-12-30T15:45:00.000-08:00

As kind of a "New Year" "gift", I will share with you the origins of the title of this blog, "The White Girl Likes Rice".

One of the first times I went to Ippudo (一風堂), which is a ramen restaurant to which my friend is the tencho (店長), I had ordered a cup of white rice (shirogohan 白ご飯 on the menue), the people behind the counter gave me a "Qua?" look, and a "Are you sure you want white rice? Don't you want fried rice?" interrogation. After reassuring them numerous times that I was, indeed, looking to eat some regular white rice, they gave me a bowl of it. I proceeded to eat said white rice, sometimes putting the noodles or the bean sprouts on top of them to cool them before eating. Every one in a while I would look up and see someone behind the counter (usually someone who would later become a dear friend of mine) looking down at me with a weird look on their face, as to be saying, "So... the white girl likes rice", like it was insanity. After that, every time I asked for white rice, I would remember that look. And it stuck.

So, the white girl likes rice.

Merry (late) Christmas and Happy New Year. May peace be with you. Look for more updates as this new year rolls in (it is one of my New Years resolutions... heh) ^_^

Christmas

2007-12-24T19:24:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! Expect an update update Friday!

Thanksgiving Weekend

2007-11-20T16:25:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know, turkey is non-existent in Japan. If I remember correctly, the group of us gaijin who did make a Thanksgiving dinner had to buy chicken. We had school on Thursday, then prolly fucked around for the evening, or went out, as was common for the few of us who would actually go out, instead of going out just to drink, or staying in and drinking. The reason for me writing this? There is no Thanksgiving in Japan.

There is Thanksgiving in America. You wouldn't think that would surprise or *gasp* throw off anyone, but after a year living somewhere else, it can. I lost track of holidays in Japan. Veterans Day, Memorial Day, Columbus Day, etc... I forgot about them/the day they were on/the month they were on. I knew Thanksgiving was in November, but with how fast these months since being home have gone by, I was shocked to realize that, not only is Thursday Thanksgiving Day, but next week starts December. As of December 1st, I have class till the 10th, then 1 more year stuck here before I can make my way home. But that is another story for another time...

Thanksgiving then. It isn't that I don't like to see my family, I just don't care for the attention/bullshit/bitching. Being a new arrival from Japan to some of my family, questions are usually the first thing I get. That is ok, since I love talking about Japan, but it is when I know they are asking because they have to, that I cannot stand. I love the food, though. My Grandmama is a wonderful cook. Like amazing. Thanksgiving is turkey and gravy and turkey sandwiches and a nap. Christmas and Easter are polisausage and ham days. I love it.

It's just odd to be spending this Thanksgiving with blood family, not with one friend walking around an old castle. *sigh*

A look at snow, from both sides of the pond...

2007-11-08T10:55:00.000-08:00

Being back in Buffalo means one very important thing: the dealing with absolutely shit ass winters. Buffalo is infamous for having long, cold and snow filled winters. Speaking to some of the foreign students that go to my school this year, almost all of them have been asked at at least once at some point while they were still living in their country, "Out of all the places in America, why Buffalo?!"

Amen.

The thing that sets Buffalonian winters out from most other winters is the lake effect. In brief description, Lake effect is heavy snow caused by a batch of cold air moving across a warm, and not frozen, lake (Lake Erie in this case). Warm water moves into the cold air , and as soon as it hits the colder shore, it dumps the snow, making for tough driving conditions, more snow than you would want to shovel ever, and a nice day to say "fuck it" and go back to sleep.

I.Hate.Buffalo.Winters.

Living here for 20 out of 21 years of my life gives me good reason to. Every year from October till March its the same damn thing. Unfortunately, also, any sort of snow fall makes the drivers on I-90 and I-290 and I-990 incredibly stupid. I hate driving in it.

I guess I was pretty spoiled this past year. Living in Kanazawa gave me something I hadn't seen in a long time: 4 seasons. Now, in Buffalo, there is a joke that we have all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction. And in most years that is true. Fall lasts all of 1 month at most, winter for 6 months, spring/winter for 3 (if we are lucky), and summer for 2. In Kanazawa this past year, the summers were nice, the fall beautiful and long, the winter short, and the spring full of cherry blossoms.

In the time I was in Kanazawa, it snowed twice. One time in January, another shortly before I went on a major tour of Japan in March. The nice thing about it is, people there don't tend to suck at driving during the winter, and the snow that year lasted for 3 days at most. Then it melted and we all felt better about life.

I miss Kanazawa winters.

はじめまして

2007-11-04T07:51:00.000-08:00

Woah... is this thing on? Sweet. Well, lets get started, shall we? Hiya! I am Demeter, artist and college student. So why blog? Well... I returned in August from a year abroad in Japan. Kanazawa actually. I consider it my home, and the people who live there my family. I have since returned to my home in Buffalo, but cannot wait to go back. I will graduate in Jan 2009. I had another blog, which some may be familiar with on Wordpress, but I decided to retire that one, since that was mainly for my time abroad during Study Abroad. PURPOSE: Well, I suppose the purpose of this thing is to be able to convey my thoughts and feelings and stories from both sides of the water. Right now it is from the East Coast of the United States, but in a year or so it should be from the West Coast of Japan. I am here to try to amuse you, make you think, and make you wonder. This is also to try to share my experiences as a foreigner in Japan, but not in large city like Tokyo or Osaka, where it isn't strange to see foreign tourists. I would like to update every few days or so, but if you see me slipping behind fear not... I am trying to finish school quickly so I can go 'home' to Kanazawa again. So, in closing, 初めまして，私の名前はDemeterです。どぞよろしくお願いします。